Jasmine’s Hit-and-Run Rhetoric

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – It’s about time we all take a moment and offer a warm round of applause to Rep. Jasmine Crockett. After years of venomous rhetoric hurled from the left like an open bar at an Antifa rally, it’s frankly refreshing to hear a Democrat reach for the low-hanging fruit of disability mockery instead of branding us all as Nazis, terrorists, or fascists. “Governor Hot Wheels”? Well, butter my biscuit, that’s practically a Hallmark card compared to what we’ve been called for the past decade. If only all the insults had rolled in with such snappy sass and playful pettiness.

That accent’s not southern, it’s straight-up synthetic bulls**t. pic.twitter.com/2LuwPxM2fS

— The Don’t Unfriend Me Show (@TheDUMShow) March 26, 2025

Greg Abbott, paralyzed from the waist down since his twenties, has somehow become the lightning rod for every unoriginal insult in the progressive playbook. And now we get “Hot Wheels.” Honestly, I don’t even hate it. It beats “traitor,” “insurrectionist,” or “Christian nationalist.” Hell, at least “Hot Wheels” could be a decent action figure. Abbott and the rest of us in the MAGA world might want to embrace it — make a shirt, throw it on a bumper sticker, maybe even launch a whole toy line. It’s easier to market than being labeled a domestic terrorist for attending a school board meeting.

But Crockett’s moment of d-list comedy is hardly isolated. It’s just the latest feather in a peacock made entirely of leftist projection, rage, and smug superiority. Remember when Hillary Clinton called us “a basket of deplorables”? That one stuck, mostly because it came with the bonus implication that half the country was beneath her—filthy little peasants clinging to their Bibles and their guns. Ah, the good ol’ days when slander came with baked-in elitism and a dash of Chardonnay breath.

THE DUM SHOW EPISODE 329

And then came the Trump era, which kicked the insult factory into full-blown overdrive. Racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, Islamophobic, transphobic — if it ended in “-phobic,” we were accused of it. They coined entire new isms just to keep up. Didn’t want a man in a dress reading stories to your kids? Transphobic. Thought maybe locking your front door was a good idea? Xenophobic. Didn’t want to shell out $7 for eggs or be forced to buy an electric car? Climate denier. The only thing they didn’t accuse us of was using plastic straws… oh wait, never mind. That too.

How about “white supremacist”? Now there’s a fun one. Nothing gets tossed around with more abandon than the claim that anyone who disagrees with leftist policies must, obviously, harbor a burning cross somewhere in their backyard. They even called Larry Elder the “Black face of white supremacy.” That’s not satire. That’s the actual modern Democrat messaging strategy. You can be Black, Latino, gay, female — doesn’t matter. If you lean right, you’re a white supremacist by spiritual adoption.

We’ve been called “election deniers,” “book banners,” “anti-science,” “grandma killers,” and “COVID truthers.” If you questioned lockdowns, you wanted people dead. If you wanted your kids back in school, you were trying to destroy teachers. If you were uncomfortable with drag queens dancing in fishnets at elementary school assemblies, well, you’re obviously a bigot. And don’t even think about saying “biological sex” unless you want to be labeled a trans-exclusionary radical fascist patriarchal enabler. Or whatever the term du jour is now.

The January 6th crowd? All of us were instantly “insurrectionists,” even those of us who were at home, eating microwave burritos and watching it on C-SPAN. Some grandmas took selfies in the rotunda and got slapped with federal charges while the media screamed about a “coup” and “domestic terrorism.” Meanwhile, Antifa torched half of Portland, and the left called it “mostly peaceful.”

Let’s not forget “Christo-fascist,” one of the more creative entries into the left’s insult compendium. Because nothing says “open-minded tolerance” like labeling church-going conservatives as theocrats just a heartbeat away from burning witches at the stake. You oppose abortion up to the moment of birth? You must want to impose a theocracy. You said a prayer before dinner? Well, next stop: Handmaid’s Tale cosplay.

How about being called “anti-LGBTQ” for wanting to protect kids from sexualized content in schools? Even a whisper of concern about parental rights or age-appropriate curriculum has earned many a conservative the moniker of “hateful bigot.” The left doesn’t argue policy anymore; they just hurl adjectives like monkeys flinging excrement at the zoo.

And yet, with all that venom, all those scarlet-letter labels, Crockett’s “Hot Wheels” jab felt almost… quaint. Almost endearing. Sure, it’s wildly inappropriate and clearly directed at Abbott’s disability, despite her post-hoc spin about “policies.” But it’s almost a welcome return to the golden age of middle-school insults. “Governor Hot Wheels”? That’s the kind of name-calling that doesn’t get you banned from Twitter. It gets you a slap on the wrist from your 6th grade teacher and maybe a timeout. Maybe Crockett’s just nostalgic for her playground days, before everything was about racial tension and woke purity tests.

Her excuse, though — chef’s kiss. “I was referring to his policies.” Oh, honey. Come on now. Abbott’s policies didn’t sprout wheels and roll through Texas like Optimus Prime. You said it, you meant it, and now you’re scrambling to make it about something deeper, something progressive, something intersectional. But we all saw the clip. You were reveling in a cheap shot. Don’t flatter yourself — it wasn’t some courageous stand for human rights. It was an awkward attempt at being funny that landed with all the grace of a falling air conditioner.

And then there’s the hypocrisy cherry on top. Crockett, and many like her, now try to flip the script: “How can you be mad when Trump mocked a disabled reporter?” As if that makes it okay. As if that erases the fact that this crowd has spent years pretending to take the high road, crowing about compassion, empathy, inclusivity — and then laugh when a paralyzed man gets reduced to a punchline. If the MAGA crowd is so awful, why stoop to our level? Oh right — because you never stood above it to begin with. You were just better at pretending. (CONTINUED BELOW)

So yeah, call us “Hot Wheels.” Compared to “deplorables,” “terrorists,” and “racists,” it’s practically a love letter. We’ll take it. Hell, we might even adopt it. T-shirts, memes, bumper stickers — you name it. If this is the best the left’s got in 2025, then maybe we’re turning a corner. Maybe the venom is drying up. Maybe the left has exhausted its thesaurus of hate and now has to settle for cartoonish, if ableist, zingers.

It would be nice to get back to real debates. To argue policy, data, direction — not who can throw the most labels at the other side like a kindergarten sticker chart gone rogue. But until that happens, we’ll just keep stacking up the names: racist, homophobe, fascist, cultist, science-denier… and now, apparently, Hot Wheels.

Thanks, Jasmine. We needed that.